In any cultural setting, one of the happiest moments of a woman’s life is when she gets married to the man of her life in the presence of her family, relatives, and friends. However, this is not the case with Indian weddings. I sought to find out why Vidaai comes as a paradox and the brides cry after their most anticipated day.
So, why do Indian brides cry after their weddings? Indian brides cry after their weddings during the Vidaai because they know they will be leaving their families to start a new life with another family. Ceremonial weeping is perceived as natural distress, signifying that the bride is resisting the departure from her comfort zone (family home) to adopt a new life in her husbands world.
Ideally, ceremonial weeping originated from the ancient custom where a child bride was forcibly married to a groom at a younger age. Although this custom is rarely practiced today, there are arguably myriads reasons why Indian brides cry after their wedding. Read on to find out.
Why Are Indian Brides Always Crying?
According to sociologists, the ceremonial crying of brides after a wedding is perceived to portray the bride’s reluctance, to not only give up her carefree life as her parent’s child, but it also signifies the bride’s reluctance to leave her parents’ house and start a new life as a burden-bearing wife.
Due to the natural emotions that engulf any child from starting a new life away from her parents, it’s only natural for Indian brides to feel emotional and cry when parting with their parents and relatives.
As mentioned before, the custom of Indian brides weeping after the wedding originated from child marriages’ traditional customary laws. To be more specific, this custom is directly related to child marriages’ norms where a girl (child bride) was forcibly taken from her mother’s arms to be wedded to the groom.
As you would expect, the bride would weep all through, not understanding the customary implications of her separation from her mother. It’s not surprising that toys were an integral part of the dowry payment in those days.
While this is the most common and least controversial answer, some historians firmly believe that the continued aspect of Indian brides crying after their wedding is a continued remnant of the ancient marriage by capturing custom.
Essentially, Indian weddings, whether traditional or modern, consider a girl to have two births. Secondly, a girl will be born naturally with her mother and encounter another birth after being married through a wedding. Therefore, just as a child’s weeps after birth, it’s only expected that a bride will cry after being wedded by a man.
This is mainly because the bride will be delving into a new life and environment, just like a newborn Indian baby girl comes into a new world after spending nine months in her mother’s womb!
What Does the Crying of a Bride Mean Traditionally?
It’s common knowledge that the best day of a woman’s life is when she gets married to the man of her dreams. However, regardless of the wedding’s opulence, one thing always stands out; bridal crying is always part of the celebrations.
If you’ve ever attended a wedding, then you probably have seen the bride cry at a certain point. Even so, a bride weeping after a cultural wedding is more common.
Although a handful of cultures in the world include a bride weeping ceremony after the wedding, an Indian bride crying after a wedding can be due to several reasons. They include:
Losing Her Mother’s Pampering
Like any other woman, a mother is the backbone of any girl until she gets married. Before being married, the bride could always rely on her mother for anything, including when she is sick or even when she wanted to learn how to cook a particular meal.
Therefore, when she is married, the bride will often wonder how she can survive away from her mother, who was ever understanding but supported her all the way.
While the idea of leaving the comfort of her mother may not always strike during the wedding festivities, the bride will always cry after the wedding, once the reality dawns on her that she has to take care of different responsibilities that were known to be her mothers.
At the same time, the fact that she cannot seek refuge from her mother anymore will always make a bride weep. After all, who will pamper her will all the comfort that her mother accord her?
Her Father’s Undying Love
Although customary Indian marriages require that the father negotiates for his daughter’s wedding, it’s worth noting that fathers are closely linked to their fathers. The father always takes up all the responsibilities, including taking care of the daughter.
However, when the bride realizes that she is grown up and going to be another man’s wife, the thought of being responsible for her own family could easily overwhelm her.
Apart from that, the bride always feels that her father, who taught her how to walk, took her to school, and provided a sense of security, is letting her go! Due to her skepticism of whether she will ever find someone else to support and guide her, it’s no surprise that an Indian bride will always cry after the wedding.
The Emotional Attachment With Her Siblings
Sibling rivalry and fights over the simplest things are quite common. However, starting a new life away from your brothers and sisters can be quite daunting. The thought of living apart from her siblings, who were her best friends whenever she needed a friend, will make an Indian bride, leave alone any other bride, shed tears.
Although sibling moments might be filled with annoying, hateful, and depressing moments, the fact that an Indian bride has shared the same clothes, toys, chocolates, and even laugh, together with her siblings can be quite overwhelming to contemplate. Therefore, the thought of leaving behind the best friends she has known all her life will fill her eyes with tears.
Tips to Avoid Crying During Your Wedding
Regardless of whether you are an emotional person or not, you cannot deny the fact that your wedding can certainly bring on the water locks. Although a few tears during and after your wedding are perfectly normal, you wouldn’t want to be that bride who brawled her eyes during the entire wedding, would you?
The following tips will remain calm at your wedding.
1. Work Off Your Nerves
Ideally, tears are tied to our nerves, and unless you are somewhat a super bride, the chances of you getting emotional are on an all-time high during a wedding. Since your brain controls how you feel-including whether to cry or not, working off your nerves in the gym is a great way of controlling your emotions.
A few months before your wedding, you should start working off at a gym or even take morning runs or walks around your block. Exercising your nerves will not only go a long way in keeping you fit and healthy, but you will be in a better position to control your nerves and, ultimately, your emotions.
2. Focus on What’s Entertaining
One of the most emotional moments in your wedding is when you’ll be leaving the wedding as a married woman. As the wedding music fills the air, the actual act of walking away from your family can be quite overwhelming. To concur your tears, the best thing you can do is smile and focus on anything entertaining.
You can decide to keep your eyes on the welcoming smiles that you’ll be receiving or, better yet, focus on the subtle music that will be playing. All in all, you should try to stir your thoughts away from the fact that you’ll be leaving your family behind and starting a new life with someone new.
Indian Brides Cry After Their Wedding Due To the Emotions They Attach To Their Family Members
Runny mascara, red eyes, and quivering lips are common things that you can see on many brides at an Indian wedding. While this is the case, it’s worth knowing that the vast majority of brides-especially those married through customary weddings, often cry a lot after weddings.
While there are many reasons that a bride will cry during and after a wedding, it’s of utmost importance to know that there are different actionable ways that you can avoid shedding tears. It all depends on how you prepare yourself, and the tips mentioned above will help you overcome weeping during and after your wedding.
I recently attended a friend’s Hindu wedding and couldn’t help but marvel at how big and colorful the wedding was. It kept me wondering why unlike so many other weddings, Hindu weddings stand out...
Jain weddings have always fascinated me from childhood, so when a Jain friend of mine invited me to his wedding, I knew it was a once in a lifetime opportunity. I was keen to observe their customs...